Today, we (the Royal “We”, of course) received an anonymous mail with the subject “Super Tapes” (no connection with Nira Radia tapes). In this tape, Rockline Venkatesh, the producer of super hit Kannada movie “SUPER” is talking to superstar “Real Star” Upendra, who wrote the story, screenplay, dialogues and directed the movie and also played the lead role.
Warning: It has not been possible by us to verify the authenticity of this tape with the Income Tax department, who supposedly recorded this conversation. Lytta blog presents the full transcript of their conversation as it is, without editing any portion of the tape.
TRANSCRIPT:
Rockline to Upendra: “Look, the concept is fine, but there are no commercial elements. People do not need moral science lessons.”
Upendra: “You have to understand that I’m planning to enter politics. And you know how difficult this bloody thing is. I cannot act or direct like I used to do earlier. Now, I have to be conscious of my image. You cannot expect this film to be like Upendra or A, where I had no such restrictions, whether as an actor or as a director. “
Rockline: “Ok, I understand, but what are you planning to do that effect?”
Upendra: “I will reiterate every now and then that I love India and Karnataka. Even if the audience forget the film, they will (have to), at least, remember that I love my motherland. I’ll insert some scenes where my love for my motherland will be demonstrated beyond doubt. I know it will be very boring, but please bear in mind my future career in politics.”
Rockline: (to himself: “God, I don’t want to this to be another patriotic film. They don’t make money. But I don’t want to say “No” to this guy either. These days anyone can become the Chief Minister of Karnataka. I have to be in his good books of this guy, who knows, he may end up as the CM of this state”) (this was confirmed with god, as told to us by the person who leaked this tape)
“Ok, but please don’t overdo it. I don’t want people to think that this is a patriotic movie.”
Upendra: “Don’t worry about that, there are enough distractions from the main story. I will only use the first half to promote myself. After they are through with the second half, they will forget about the first half story. Trust me.”
Rockline (Still very skeptical): “Please remember, I’m not ready to spend so much for just the message. I need something else apart from just the story”
Upendra: “Ok, then, I will add few songs. I know it is not necessary, but songs come under the term “commercial elements”, right? Let us also include another actress who will be there only to show her big boobs and thighs so that those who cannot understand the message or do not want to, will have other things to look at.”
Rockline: “Good, good. I know you do know the taste of the Kannada audience. You know, I’m in love with that scene where you blame the Indians for tolerating every injustice meted out to them. And that “satpraje”(meaning good citizen) and “satta praje” (dead citizen) terms are really very catchy. Uppi, I have a request, hope you don’t mind. It’s been a long time since I appeared on the screen. Since this is my film, I would like to be there on screen too.”
Upendra: “As of now, there is no such role or scene, but never mind; I will write a scene which is definitely not required. Since our audience comprise no one, but Indians, they will tolerate these kinds of things too. In that case, I will cast my parents too. They would like to appear on screen too”
Rockline: “Of course, through our film we shall prove that we Indians, especially Kannadigas, tolerate everything. And don’t forget, I want to make as much money as possible from this film. I know, I will, since this is your first directorial venture in last ten years. We will definitely have a good opening. But I need more money.”
Upendra: “Don’t worry; I have a solution for that, let us release this in other South Indian languages too. Let me cast two or Telugu/Tamil actors for this purpose. That way we can create the interest and you know, I’m a known face in Telugu and to some extent Tamil too, what say?”
Rockline: “Yes, yes. Good idea. I’m glad that other film industries allow dubbing. We may not allow others to voice dub their movies to Kannada, but that doesn’t stop us from dubbing our movies to their language, right? Now, please don’t call me a hypocrite”
Upendra: “Don’t worry, I won’t. I have dubbed few of my earlier movies too. Kannada industry has to go beyond Karnataka. I accept people are not watching Kannada movies in Karnataka, but I think that itself is a strong reason to dub our movies and send it to other states. When can we start the shooting?”
Rockline: “Anytime you say. But I have promised to take my family to a tour of London, as soon as I’m back, we will start the shooting.”
Upendra: “Wait a minute, did you say London? Gosh, why did I not think of this earlier? We shall shoot some portion, including yours, in London. That way, we can fulfil the customary abroad shooting and you can also enjoy your family tour. Ok?”
Rockline: “Super”
